Love, Resentment and ‘Write to the Address of the Sky’: The Untold Story of Rudra and Taslima

The relationship between Rudra Mohammad Shahidullah and Taslima Nasrin cannot be understood simply as a failed romance or a broken marriage. Their connection began through literature, grew through letters, turned into love and marriage, and later became a relationship marked by conflict, separation, resentment, poetry, memory and unfinished emotional attachment.

What makes their story particularly fascinating is that even after their separation, neither of them completely disappeared from the other’s literary and emotional world.

Taslima Nasrin: Childhood, Education and Literary Career

Taslima Nasrin was born on 25 August 1962 in Mymensingh, Bangladesh. Her father, Rajab Ali, was a physician.

She studied at Muminunnisa Government Women’s College and later enrolled at Mymensingh Medical College, where she completed her MBBS degree in 1984.

After graduation, she worked as a physician in different government hospitals in Mymensingh and Dhaka.

However, Taslima’s interest in literature had begun much earlier. She started writing poetry as a teenager and became involved in literary activities while still a student.

From 1978, she edited a poetry magazine called “Senjuti”. It was through this literary world that she gradually came into contact with Rudra Mohammad Shahidullah.

Over time, Taslima became widely known as a poet, columnist, novelist and memoirist.

Among her notable works are poetry collections, essays, autobiographical volumes and the controversial novel “Lajja”, published in 1993.

Her writings often focus on women’s rights, religion, patriarchy, social inequality, freedom and personal experience.

In 1994, amid threats and intense controversy surrounding her writings, she left Bangladesh. Since then, a large part of her life has been spent outside the country.

Rudra Mohammad Shahidullah: Childhood and Education

Rudra Mohammad Shahidullah was born on 16 October 1956 in Barisal.

His ancestral home was in Mongla, Bagerhat. His father, Sheikh Waliullah, was also a physician.

Rudra spent an important part of his childhood at his maternal grandparents’ home in Mithakhali. From an early age, he developed a strong interest in books, poetry and literature.

He studied at St Paul’s School in Mongla and later at West End High School in Dhaka.

Although he passed his SSC examination from the science group in 1973, he did not follow his father’s expectation that he would become a doctor.

Instead, he chose humanities at Dhaka College.

After completing his Higher Secondary education in 1975, Rudra enrolled in the Department of Bangla at the University of Dhaka.

He completed his honours degree in 1980 and later his master’s degree in 1983.

By that time, however, he had already established himself as an emerging poet.

His first poetry collection, “Upadruta Upakul”, was published in 1979.

Other important collections included “Phire Chai Swarnagram”, “Manusher Manchitra”, “Chhobol”, “Galpo”, “Diyechhile Shokol Akash” and “Moulik Mukhosh”.

His poetry explored love, politics, inequality, rebellion, nationalism and human struggle.

He also became involved in cultural and anti-authoritarian movements.

Rudra died on 21 June 1991 at the age of only 34.

How Did Rudra and Taslima First Meet?

Their story began through poetry.

Taslima was editing the literary magazine “Senjuti”, and Rudra used to send poems for publication.

According to Taslima’s later recollections, she became familiar with Rudra through those submissions.

Their literary acquaintance gradually developed into personal communication.

Poet and writer circles also helped bring them closer.

At the time, Taslima was studying medicine in Mymensingh, while Rudra was active in Dhaka’s literary scene.

Because they lived in different cities, letters became one of the most important forms of communication between them.

Their relationship therefore grew through words before it became a shared life.

This detail later makes Rudra’s famous line—

“Write to the address of the sky”

—feel even more emotionally significant.

A Marriage Against Convention

Rudra and Taslima married in the early 1980s, reportedly without the usual family arrangements and ceremonies.

Different sources mention slight variations regarding the exact year, but their marriage is generally placed around 1981–1982.

Both were still young and deeply involved in their studies and literary lives.

Their marriage itself reflected the rebellious personalities of both writers.

They did not want to follow every traditional social rule.

For Rudra in particular, choosing his own partner was connected to his broader rejection of conventional social expectations.

However, the romantic freedom that brought them together would later become one of the major sources of tension in their married life.

Why Did Their Marriage Break Down?

The end of their marriage cannot be explained through one simple reason.

Rudra and Taslima later described the relationship from different perspectives.

In an interview, Rudra suggested that one of the main problems was adjustment.

During their courtship, they lived in different cities and met only occasionally.

Their relationship had been built largely through letters and short meetings.

Once they began living together, differences in lifestyle, personality and expectations became more visible.

Rudra considered himself unconventional, restless and resistant to traditional domestic expectations.

He believed that Taslima would also be able to live outside conventional ideas of marriage.

In reality, their expectations about love, commitment, personal freedom and domestic life did not always match.

Taslima’s later autobiographical writings, on the other hand, describe jealousy, emotional pain and conflicts involving Rudra’s relationships with other women.

Therefore, their separation cannot simply be described as one person wanting freedom and the other wanting a traditional marriage.

Their conflict involved personality, trust, emotional expectations, lifestyle, jealousy, independence and different understandings of love.

Eventually, their marriage ended in divorce in 1986.

From Love to Resentment and a Battle Through Poetry

One of the most fascinating aspects of the Rudra–Taslima story is what happened after their separation.

Their emotional conflict entered their poetry.

Two poems are frequently discussed in connection with this literary confrontation:

Taslima Nasrin’s “Dudhraj”

and

Rudra Mohammad Shahidullah’s “Samonnoy”.

These poems are often interpreted as poetic responses to each other.

Taslima’s ‘Dudhraj’: Anger, Betrayal and Emotional Wounds

In “Dudhraj”, Taslima uses sharp imagery and metaphor to describe a relationship in which love appears to turn into disappointment and betrayal.

The poem uses the image of a man who cannot be controlled or domesticated.

Many readers and literary commentators have interpreted the poem as being directed at Rudra.

Taslima herself, however, did not always explicitly confirm that the poem was entirely about him.

For that reason, it is more accurate to say that “Dudhraj” has widely been interpreted as reflecting her relationship with Rudra rather than claiming with certainty that every line directly refers to him.

The poem nevertheless carries unmistakable feelings of wounded love, anger, betrayal and emotional exhaustion.

Rudra’s ‘Samonnoy’: A Poetic Counterattack

Rudra’s poem “Samonnoy” was written on 14 January 1989 and later included in his collection “Moulik Mukhosh”.

The poem begins with a striking line that can roughly be translated as:

“You had better keep a dog…”

Rudra uses the same metaphorical territory of ownership, obedience and control.

For many readers, the poem sounds like a direct literary reply to Taslima’s “Dudhraj”.

If “Dudhraj” expresses the complaint—

“I loved you, but you hurt me and refused to remain loyal”—

then “Samonnoy” can be read as a counterargument:

“You wanted someone you could control.”

Seen together, the poems reveal one of the central conflicts of their marriage:

freedom versus emotional possession.

Their personal relationship had ended, but the debate continued through literature.

Was There Only Hatred After the Divorce?

No.

This is where their story becomes much more complicated.

Their relationship after divorce was not simply one of hatred.

Available memoirs and recollections suggest that after a period of intense conflict, communication between them gradually resumed.

They occasionally met in literary circles.

When Rudra became ill and was hospitalized, Taslima reportedly visited him.

There are also recollections suggesting that Rudra continued to remember their shared past.

Shortly before his death, during a visit to Mymensingh, he reportedly spoke about places near the Brahmaputra River where he and Taslima had once spent time together.

This was several years after their divorce.

That suggests the relationship had left a deeper emotional mark than their bitter poems might suggest.

Rather than simply calling it hatred, their post-marriage relationship may be better described through four words:

love, resentment, jealousy and unfinished attachment.

The Story Behind ‘Bhalo Achhi Bhalo Theko’

Rudra’s most famous lyrical poem is actually titled “Amar Bhitor Bahire Ontore Ontore”.

However, it became popularly known through the line:

“Bhalo achhi, bhalo theko,
Akash-er thikanay chithi likho.”

In English, the idea can be rendered as:

“I am well, you stay well too; write to me at the address of the sky.”

The song was written several years after Rudra and Taslima’s divorce.

Rudra himself composed its melody.

Over time, it became one of the most loved Bengali songs about separation, memory and emotional attachment.

What Does the Song Mean?

The song describes a person who may no longer be physically present in the speaker’s life, but who continues to exist emotionally—

inside, outside and deep within.

That is what gives the song its extraordinary emotional power.

The words “I am well” can be interpreted almost as an act of emotional self-protection.

It sounds like someone assuring a former lover:

“Do not worry about me. I am okay.”

But immediately after that comes:

“You stay well too.”

There is no revenge in those words.

There is still care.

Then comes the most memorable image:

“Write to the address of the sky.”

For two people whose love story had once depended heavily on letters, the line becomes especially poignant.

Was ‘Bhalo Achhi Bhalo Theko’ Written for Taslima?

This is one of the biggest myths and debates surrounding Rudra and Taslima.

The song was certainly written after their divorce.

Its themes of distance, memory, letters and a love that survives separation naturally invite comparisons with their relationship.

However, there is no definitive evidence proving that Rudra wrote the song exclusively for Taslima.

Later recollections attributed to Taslima suggest that Rudra had once sung the song to her.

But even she questioned whether the person imagined in the song was really her or perhaps another woman in Rudra’s life.

Therefore, it would be misleading to state as fact that the song was unquestionably written for Taslima.

What can reasonably be said is that Rudra’s relationship with Taslima formed one of the most significant emotional experiences of his life, and the themes of the song strongly resemble elements of their shared history.

Why Did the Meaning of the Song Change After Rudra’s Death?

Rudra died suddenly on 21 June 1991.

After his death, the line—

“Write to the address of the sky”

—acquired an entirely new emotional meaning.

While he was alive, the sky was a poetic metaphor for distance.

After his death, it became almost literal in the imagination of readers.

The person asking for letters to be sent to the sky was no longer alive to receive them.

Taslima’s later writings about Rudra also became noticeably more reflective and sorrowful.

The anger that had once dominated parts of their literary exchange gradually gave way to memory, grief and acknowledgement of the depth of their shared past.

Death had ended the possibility of further arguments.

What remained was memory.

How Should We Understand the Rudra–Taslima Relationship?

Their relationship cannot be reduced to a simple sentence such as:

“They loved each other, then they hated each other.”

The story was far more complex.

It developed approximately like this:

Literature → acquaintance → letters → love → marriage against convention → shared life → personality clashes → jealousy and emotional conflict → divorce → poetic confrontation → renewed communication → lingering memories → Rudra’s death → love transformed into remembrance.

Their relationship shows how love can survive in complicated forms even after a marriage has ended.

They hurt each other.

They criticized each other.

Their bitterness entered their poetry.

They went in different directions.

Yet neither seems to have completely erased the other from their personal history.

And that is perhaps why “Bhalo Achhi Bhalo Theko” still feels so closely connected to their story, even though it cannot definitively be described as a song written only for Taslima.

It represents something larger:

the feeling of loving someone who can no longer remain part of your life.

The relationship is over.

The arguments are over.

The two people have moved apart.

But somewhere inside, the memory remains.

And after all the anger, jealousy and pain, the final wish is not revenge.

It is simply:

“Stay well.”